Guys....I have found myself a quiet moment. A scheduled meeting didn't work out for the client, my husband is fixing my Mom's faucet, Mom has the kids, and I sit quietly here in my little office after a full day of collecting and coordinating pick ups for a consignment auction that just closed, an online fundraising auction that just closed, pondering real estate prospects, possibilities, and upcoming marketing moves and I am grateful.
 |
| Where this magic happened :)! Photo Cred: Brenda Rose |
This past year has been tough, but SO FULL of lessons. Albeit, lessons I didn't necessarily WANT to learn at the time, but ones I am grateful for now.
You know....God didn't create us to be automated. He didn't create us to be systematic. He created us to be unique and different and to pursue our gifts and the desires of our hearts. He also desired us to fellowship with other humans.
 |
| Those signs were created when I needed to let my mind unwind. |
Man! I have been SO unsure about SO MANY things this year. At times, I really have turned myself loose from situations to LET GOD, because I could not decide what was "right" and what was "wrong," but I did TRUST that whatever came of it, God could fix any of it. I don't know that I have ever really been in that place as many times AND like I have been this year. It is an exercise of faith, but.....at times, that exercise (temporarily) hurts. God uses everything. What He did make clear to me is that sometimes others will be hurt while you make an effort to help yourself.
Those that ask, those that have worked alongside me and those that read my blogs KNOW, that I look at this business as a ministry. God has called me to use a gift, I had NO IDEA I had, to DO GOOD......TO HELP His people.....TO TEACH His people.....TO SERVE His people. I really do take it very serious. I am typically slow to make decisions because I really like to watch, listen, ask questions, confirm, think about things from all the angles and pray.....I should pray MORE.
God has taken me through a course of how to love and appreciate and honor MYSELF. HARD! You talk about H.A.R.D. Even as I read it back I shake my head....and maybe even do a little eye roll.... It makes me uncomfortable. I'd rather just go do something. BUT.....it is paying off. Scaling back in the manner that I have, has allowed me to fully experience all the things I had others doing for me and allowed me to REALLY KNOW what I still like....love almost and what I don't. The type of client I work best with and the kind I don't; The value of the knowledge, experience, and skill that I bring to the table; The amount of time I want to invest in my faith, my family, myself, & my what's next :).
What was REALLY hard has turned to excitement....not busting at the seams excitement, BUT building momentum excitement. I would not have that if I didn't walk the hard walk and do the hard things and experience all the funkiness........& there was A LOT of it. Walking through the uncertainty.....really wallering through the uncertainty has brought me to what is to come. There are still uncertainties, but they look a little more exciting and a little more inviting.
I am here to tell you…to get here...the journey is ROUGH. The journey is heart-breaking, ego-deflating, friendship-changing, humble-pie caliber, people will think something is wrong with you for choosing it type of journey. You will want to throw your hands up, find a hole to crawl into, second-guess EVERY decision you ever made, re-enter the workforce..... Then.....you'll find yourself here with MORE knowledge and wisdom and experience AND a clearer understanding of whatever it is YOU have to POUR OUT INTO THE WORLD. If you want to have a FULL OF CHARACTER small business, you better BUCK UP BABY! There is NOTHING easy about it, but....as always.....the ride will be worth it.
 |
| How much space looked at the start of my 2nd beginning. :) |
