Tanner's Light

Welcome to all my readers!! My crew and I, along with the family, friends, & supporters of the Tanner Bayless Family are gearing up & getting ready for the 3rd annual Tanner Bayless Memorial Scholarship Benefit.

As an auctioneer, I call all sorts of auctions & raise money for all kinds of different causes. One thing I've learned in my walk with God is that EVERYTHING has a purpose &, if we make the right choices, we will SHARE in that purpose & SHARE it with others...many times, unintentionally.

I met Tanner's Mom Stacy last year when she called me & asked me to be the auctioneer for last year's benefit. I didn't know Tanner or his Mom & I really didn't know what had happened. When I had a chance to ask Stacy I did &, as a Mom, my heart twisted up & I naturally started wondering if my babies were OKAY, right where they were.

One thing I am CERTAIN none of us will be able to comprehend is TRAGEDY. Why? WHY? Why do sweet young babies have to battle through cancer? Why can the mass disappear & then come back? Why is one kid in a car accident & lives & WHY does another die? Why was she in the house when it exploded because of a gas leak? Why did that horse spook & cause my baby to get hurt so bad? What happened on that tractor...helicopter...motorcyle? We may never know...surely not in this life...

One thing I can tell you about Tanner (even though I never had the pleasure of meeting him) is that HIS LIGHT SHINED SO BRIGHTLY in his time here on Earth. I am almost certain that is what adds to Stacy's light. I had a lady that lost her husband in tragedy tell me: "If it wasn't for this business, I would go in my bedroom, cover my head with a sheet, & just stay there." So what makes a MOM move forward? What makes living OK, when your baby isn't?

Stacy has never told me her answer, BUT I think it would have a little something to do with this. Even though Tanner isn't PHYSICALLY here anymore...all the love & memories & hugs & kisses & smells & hunting stories & fishing stories & football stories.....THEY DON'T GO AWAY. They don't LEAVE this world. KNOW...that God could take them away, if he wanted. Tanner's light SHINES ON through us. We all NEED each other. We help others....strangers...and we don't even know it. WE ALL want to TRANSCEND. We are in the trenches right now & sometimes it is gut-wrenching, but we have to CONTINUE to shine light in the darkness. God-willing we will all be where Tanner is one day, but that sure doesn't make the pain go away.

I read something in a book yesterday that said: "If you don't exercise your muscles, they weaken and atrophy. In the same way, if you don't utilize the abilities and skills God has given you, you will lose them." - Pastor Rick Warren

How does this apply? Tanner's family & friends have the abilities & skills to continue LETTING his light shine. They had a choice...to keep it for themselves OR to share it with others. When you bless people, you will also be blessed...& sometimes those blessings help to COPE with the pain. I PRAY that you are able to come out to this event to WITNESS the STRENGTH, SUPPORT, TENACITY, & LOVE of this group of people.

The money that is raised at this event has provided scholarships to help other young people move towards their goals & dreams. It has also been put right back into the community for NUMEROUS causes & has helped other families of tragedies. Stacy's dream would be able to provide a full-ride to a student one day, be able to work together with other families of tragedy, & continue to contribute to the success of other local causes.

Like I said...Tanner's light is a BRIGHT one. It was AWESOME to see so many young people come out...& not just show up, BUT BID & contribute to the cause. You really don't see that much & just goes to show how his light is still shining in them.

We truly have NO IDEA what the next moment holds, so LOVE your people & love them deep. FORGIVE quickly & do your best. BE READY & EAGER to help the next person, because you might just be in their shoes tomorrow.

BUCK UP BABY! Come out & help Tanner's light SHINE ON!! God Bless!

Heather Schoenst Kaspar
TXL 17037

My Momma: 1st EVER Thankful Thursday Post

I've decided to have a feature post every week & decided I wanted to dedicate it to whatever I am thankful for. I have A LOT to be thankful for & thought this was a GREAT way to express that. I'm sure it will vary every week from anything from my family and friends, to that fantastic get-away I might get the chance to go on, to the best purchase we ever made (our memory foam bed) :).

This week I want to write a feature on My Momma!

My Momma

I'm a Momma now. I have been for 2 years and 10 months. Something changes in you when you become a mother. I got a phone call yesterday from one of my VERY good childhood friends, that recently found out she was going to have a beautiful baby boy. She was wanting advice on what she should do regarding a certain situation & it amazed me to think of how my advice before becoming a mother would have been different than what I gave her. My sweet little angel called me "Momma" for the first time last night. I call my mother, "Mom," but in my heart she is my Momma. I hope that this post helps anyone reading it to 1) Appreciate all Mommas and 2) Help Mommas appreciate themselves.

Mom & my Sweet Baby Kylee Jo @ her 2nd Birthday!

I want to give you a little background on my Momma. She does not drive. She helps my Dad with EVERYTHING. She is the facilitator during ALL arguments. She is a supporter. She is dependent, yet independent. She is shy around anyone except her close friends & family. She LOVES Alan Jackson, old westerns, cop shows, Dr. Pepper, old country music, her dog Wicket & Christmas music. She is a hard-worker. She is trusting, to a fault at times. She is misunderstood. She undervalues herself. She is mega laid-back, until she gets REAL mad. She puts up with a lot, from all of us. She perseveres no matter the situation. She is my Momma.  

My Momma saved my life when I was probably 5 or 6 years old. I had eaten a piece of hard butterscotch candy. My Dad would get really mad if we ate hard candy, because he was scared we were going to choke on it. Well, this certain day, it got caught in my throat. On the inside I was panicking, but I didn't want to get in trouble, so I started walking to my room & was going to go back into the closet. I don't know why, but I remember - plain as day that's where I was going. I barely got into the hallway, when Mom said: "Heather, what's wrong?" I couldn't talk. The candy was lodged in my throat. I saw panic come across her face & then the panic REALLY set it for me. Without so much as a thought, she got behind me & performed the Heimlich Maneuver. The candy came out, & she hugged me so tight I thought she'd never let go & silent tears ran down my face. I was SO young. All I know is at that moment, I didn't understand everything that was happening....just that it was significant.

I unconditionally love my brother and sister, but we are all 3 COMPLETELY different people. We share some of the same interests and traits (especially being hard-headed). Somehow my mother knows how to listen to all of us, understand where each of us are coming from, tries to explain where the others are coming from, & stays neutral. I haven't quite figured it out. If you know the 3 of us AND our tempers...you'd know it is a HUGE task. 

The Family 2 Christmases ago. 

Mom had episodes where she had seizures when we were younger. She went to a doctor & he prescribed her medicine that has regulated them now. My Dad is on crutches. He has been since I was in 2nd grade. I remember waking up one morning to Dad falling. My Mom was having a seizure on the floor and Dad was trying to get to the phone to call 911 without his crutches. His reaction was to just jump up and go to the phone, but he was physically incapable. That must have been shortly after he started walking on crutches. He did get there, after falling about 6 or 7 times. He was so out of breath, he put me on the phone. I answered the questions and if I didn't know the answer that the 911 responder asked - I would ask Dad. 

I also remember when my little brother was in Kindergarten maybe. We were playing in the back room, which was our Den & Chance threw a cookie sheet at me like a frisbee & he gashed my eye open. When I went up to touch it my hand was completely covered in blood & I FREAKED out. I went in the house HYSTERICAL. Chance was scared too. He ran over to my Grandma's and told her that he killed me! Mom was getting frustrated with me b/c it really was only a little bitty gash & I wouldn't calm down and talk to her. I told her I wanted my Daddy & I remember her saying: "What is he going to do." That was maybe said in the midst of a heated moment, but I very much APPRECIATE it now.

Mommas are the ones that, in the middle of dealing with their own lives, fix the owies, put up with the mean remarks in the morning when their trying to wake you up, makes sure there is food on the table, clean clothes to wear, is your friend when you feel like no one else is & I said I wanted my DADDY. I'm not sayin' Daddy didn't do some of those things too. Believe me...He'll get a thankful post too, but I COMPLETELY get it. 

I am ever so thankful for MY MOMMA! Words will not ever be able to express how much I LOVE her. The thing is, we will NEVER understand completely understand all the people in our lives. I still don't understand why she just doesn't go and get her license! I just want everyone reading to think about those ROCKS in their life, whether it's their Momma, a teacher, friend, boss....whoever it is, and know that they have sacrificed something for us, love us, believe in us more than others may, and we've probably hurt their feelings or under-valued their importance in our lives, at one point or another. Appreciate them! Our Maker puts the people that are in our lives there for a reason. BUCK UP BABY & go give'm a hug or phone call. They deserve it!