We all change and there is NO QUESTION...I have changed. I have grown. Different things have become important to me in the different stages of my life. I have also....forgot....some of the special things about myself, as I was striving for what SEEMED to be where I needed to be heading.
I reached a point where something had to give. My business was growing. I made some decisions that were in line with what I believed and where all the arrows were pointing, but it was a place I'd never been before and I had to figure it out. There was no road map. When you go on a journey, like I tend to find myself on, you latch on to every shred of light & explore it and respect it & do what you can to do it justice.
I look at my work as my calling. My entire professional journey has been searching for the light, catching a glimmer, & being obedient to follow it & see where it leads. Where I found myself was seeing beams of light shooting from many different directions. I went from searching for the light to chasing the lights...trying to catch them all. Then I started disappointing myself that I was not able to do them all justice. Then I found myself in a place where, at the end of the day, I didn't have anything left to give, but WANTING to keep digging in & being there & doing things. That's when I realized my self-care was....well....non-existent. In that.....it was no wonder it was hard for me to find my special. It took LOTS of conversations with God to get myself to the place where I could recognize it. Then, :) I found myself catching a glimmer, and being obedient to get on a path to self-care, accepting the TRUTH that I was enough for God - the EXACT way He found me & that is all that matters. I had been SO FAR from making choices for ME....I truly did not know how. I read scripture everyday & THAT gave me the breadcrumbs I needed to take me down the right paths. There is a planner that has made ALL the difference. It has helped me focus on what is important & for that reason, I will share it here, in the event it will help someone else.
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| www.successaddax.com |
In reviewing my planners & KNOWING what my life goals are, my long-term & short-term goals & the plans I have in place to get there. Also knowing that I am approaching a year (give or take) of using this planner, I can see MAJOR progress from where I started. Things that were HARD, hard, hard for me are very clear. Things that were such a struggle for me are natural.
I was spending much of my day tying up loose ends of homework between my two oldest. I was doing my best to have a balanced day for the kids: meal time, playtime, homework time, down time, chore time. I found myself relaxing into it. I was going with the flow & achieving OUR balance, PLUS getting a few extra work things & home project things done. As I sat down reflecting, updating SLACK & the number of "To-Do" channels I had pending were ALMOST completely trimmed back & it was relatively effortless. What caused me to reflect is.....technically I've taken on more tasks (like we all have); in some cases more and in some cases drastically different, PLUS maintaining what can still be maintained, yet.....the balance in my life & my family's is the best I've been able to recognize & BE PROUD OF in quite a long time.
Does that mean that each little thing happened as I planned? Heck no. My kids argued with each other or with me ALL DAY. I had to re-organize the kids' homework AT LEAST 5 times, because the youngest kept finding a way to get his hands on it (even when we thought it was out of reach). The solo cup STEAM project continued into today, as well as the frustrations with their little brother who LOVES to knock them down. There are still solo cups on the floor in the kitchen & they are totally staying there until tomorrow. Homework still took longer than I'd hoped. All of that is TOTALLY okay because, zooming out & taking a look from a BIG PICTURE standpoint...….I uncluttered our home by two bags of things that will bless someone else. Leads I hadn't had a chance to follow up with, have turned into new business. I have a good friend & colleague working beside me on a new project. I had the opportunity to teach a green auctioneer how to navigate certain situations they have not experienced yet. Although we argued...the kids and I had LOTS of fun & the three of them play REALLY well with each other (age does not matter to them). I'm continuing on my blogging journey/challenge to myself . I had GREAT conversation with my husband. I moved forward with small home projects. ULTIMATELY...I am making progress towards my LIFE goals that effect EVERYONE important to me & people I don't even know yet.
I can see through the clearing. There are certain things that this entire COVID situation is forcing us to focus on.…& they are the right things. In fact, after reflecting today, I think more things will move out of our way & we will all be able to see things more clearly. Buck Up Baby & enjoy the clearing!
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