Training Ground

 This blog will be about getting where I'm going. The lessons have to take place somewhere and people must witness our imperfections. Lately, I've been reflecting on what has gotten me here. 

I think about one of my other titles....Mom.  Kyle and I just had a conversation with our 3 kids. They like to ask questions about each other like...."What was Kylee like as a baby?" "Was Hunter as chunky as Heath was?" Somehow we got on the subject of Kylee being the oldest and she asked why we did something and Kyle said...LOL "You were the first one. We didn't know what we were doing." 

As we enter different stages of our lives we NEED a training ground. As I make an attempt at relating the two and try to truly capture how GRATEFUL I am for my training grounds, hang with me. I hope this allows you all to have some nostalgic moments FULL of gratefulness for YOUR journey. 

I remember when I was teetering on the idea of building my own business, having the flexibility to buILD the life I envisioned for myself and my family, knocking some barriers down - that were in my way and weighing every. single. thing. I mean....EVERYTHING. 

One of the things that hung me up for awhile was that, up until that point, I had prided myself on my quality of work and I KNEW I would not have the background support....you know, like an accounting department, production department, HR department, like I was used to. I also had never done, what I was getting ready to do so.....I was going in with as much education as I could gather, before beginning the journey blind...and taking others with me. What I mean by that is minimal experience. I had my life experiences on the periphreal of the actual nuts and bolts of the business, but no REAL boots on the ground experience. I had experience within departments of PART of the business. Because I am a person that puts the work in, I had to make damn sure - this JOURNEY I was getting ready to take everyone on was a long-term plan and that I was up for a long adventure. I feel like that again, but that's all that seems familiar. I feel like the next leg of the journey could go several different ways. I also know that it could go different directions than what I'm even aware of, because well....our God is BIG. 

All the feels of this space are so familiar. Imagine.....uncertainty...excitement....motivation...fear of acting....holding onto what I know - instead of just acting.... I know God is always right on time and I can't mess it up, but I always find myself thinking I am missing some sort of CLEAR message and I am getting in my own way. 

I digress....

As parents, we are to "raise our children in the way they should go, so they do not stray from it." Each one of our children have very unique traits and characteristics and God took into account Kyle and I being first time parents, when he blessed us with Kylee. He knew we had what it took to have a second child, change careers, and move home & form an LLC....all at the same time. He also knew that another human needed all of what all four of us could give him. As I reflect on the environments we were in with each three....I'm in awe of Him. 

God KNOWS how I think....and think....and overthink. He provided an opportunity for me to EXPLORE. When I talked to Kyle about it, he was open to it.......and ALL the things had to happen in our lives for him to be open to it. What a wonderful training ground He took us to in Rockport. Three and a half hours from home. He removed distractions and allowed us to focus on us and become who He was calling us to. 

As I sit here typing, and being more aware of the things The Good Lord is calling me to do. I see the last 12 or so years of my life as yet, another training ground. One where people had to witness my growth, the growth of my family, the growth of my faith, the successes, the perceived failures, the way in which I move in between them. Just like I was thankful for my Rockport training ground. I am thankful for this one. This one had a few more dips and curves and peaks and valleys. Now, He is calling US to more. We don't know PRECISELY what it is, but He is and we will find out along the way. 

We all have our training ground, and I have come to believe that God may have multiple purposes for us. OBEDIENCE....EXPLORATION....TRUST....FAITH....COURAGE....PERSEVERANCE... When you BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS it takes all of those things. You best, put them in your saddle bags. 

One of the missions God has for me is simply, sharing my story and sharing my faith, with the hope and intention that it will ENCOURAGE someone else to get to know Jesus. This blog itself, is yet another training ground, where I get to use all the tools in bold above. When you make the choice and saddle up...you will experience it ALL. Your life will be FULL....abundant even. There will be cold, exhausting nights, where you are too broke (in a variety of ways) to do anything but rest....in the cold. Then....He will pick you up out of it and you will be stronger and smarter and better prepared for the next part of the journey.....and it will be an ADVENTURE you would never, ever trade. 

Yes....people will come and go, in and out of your life....and it will HURT. It will bring you grief and sadness and turmoil, but only for a short while. You see, God loves them too. He is teaching them something, just as He's teaching you something. He WILL reward your obedience....small acts, large acts, and continual acts. 

I encourage anyone reading to just sit with Him, even for a few brief moments. Let HIM speak to you, however He chooses and be receptive to hearing Him. Then....in His perfect timing, Buck Up Baby & Ride With Jesus!

Just Because You Could - Doesn't Mean You Should

 Today, I was brought back to some of the thoughts that ran through my head before I decided to really pursue building my own business, instead of working for someone else. Without Jesus, I would not be here. Those prayers, back then, were a kind all their own....fervent, desperate, FULL of fret and worry, talking out loud ALL....EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. MY. CONCERNS..... Jesus knew them. Even though He called me, I was not able to recognize it right away. I questioned EVERY thought. I thought of EVERY scenario....EVERY possibility.....REALLY sat with the less than favorable possibilities, let it saturate me and then decide if I was willing to make the sacrifice and FOLLOW Jesus's call. A TD Jakes sermon & The Holy Spirit snapped me into action back then and......here I am....more than a decade later.....and TD Jakes has once again motivated me with one of his sermons and I felt that familiar feeling. The feeling of ALLOWING God to show me. To put all my plans, thoughts, ideas, limited knowledge to the side and....well....BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS!

This brings me to my most beautiful lesson this week. In business.....just because you COULD, does NOT mean you should. Sometimes.....we are SO hard-headed that God literally has to LET US recognize for ourselves our weaknesses. He let's us FEEL the discomfort, angst.....He lets us struggle in our limited knowledge. 

I am a person that likes to be in motion. Sitting still, focusing on numbers, piecing things together, and trying to figure out how to make a program work.....that's not my thing. Yes. Once upon a time that was my thing....because I was curious....engaged....interested....learning. That being said, I identified years ago, that - that was one of my least favorite parts of the business and taught, encouraged, hired, and/or trained others to do that very thing. NOW.....as I sit in the middle of my reset, fumbling my way through what's next...wanting to BE REAL SURE I need a person to do X, Y, Z....I have never been more sure of anything in my life.

My brain was SOOOOOOOOOO tired that once I struggled my way through programs and documents and process manuals, and FAQ web pages, then double, triple, & quadruple checking my numbers (which BTW....as I sit at my daughter's music recital, realize I forgot a very important deduction that was accounted for, but not notated) I realized that....when I work myself to a place where basic addition and subtraction is a struggle......it's time to let it go. AND...if that wasn't enough to convince me....after ALL the corrections and THINKING I was printing page 9 of a 9 page document.....I take a call and, by the end of it, have NINE FULL COPIES OF A NINE PAGE DOCUMENT....that is not where I'm supposed to be.... THUS, just because you could, doesn't mean you should. 

God gives us such AMAZING gifts. TRULY, when I started this whole journey FRUSTRATED with my J.O.B. at the time....I HAD NO IDEA that I would one day become a Texas Reserve State Champion Auctioneer, learn how to sell EVERY type of asset under the sun, and HELP RAISE MILLIONS for non profits! In fact, when I started this journey....being an auctioneer was a thought written in a journal out of frustrated prayer. I reached a point where I did all I knew how to do in my own knowledge and ability and I did not know what to do. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR MY OBEDIENCE. 

God knows that sometimes we have to wear ourselves down to the place where we will be obedient; where we have exhausted all we know & we SURRENDER. 

And as I type that, I think to myself....knowing all this....why is it still SO HARD? I'd like to think that God is teaching us how to trust Him the way we will, one day, need to trust Him. Every time we get ourselves to these places we trust God a little more. AND....it is not that we don't want to trust Him...it's that we don't know how and He is teaching us. It gets easier to say yes. It gets easier to step into the unknown and LET HIM paint the road as you walk. We can't rush it. We can't make plans. We can simply EXPERIENCE His goodness and His grace and His mercy towards us & LET HIM SHOW US!

BUCK UP BABY & RIDE WITH JESUS! GO where He takes you. No questions and no expectations.