I am a STRONG believer that the Holy Spirit works in all of our lives and guides us on our path and at times CONSUMES us....when he really wants to get the point across. Well my new friend over at THE RUSTIC CHICK posted a video that really spoke to me and I had a VERY similar experience....you guys might find me a little crazy after this, but I feel compelled to share it :).
Here´s the video. WATCH IT!! It will make you laugh and cry!
SO NOW ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE....
I lost a very SWEET and LOVING friend almost a year ago. She had kind of a rough life growing up. She dated one of my good friends for a while and that´s how I really got to know her. She helped us move into our house when we lived in Carmine and we sat and organized one day and had some Ramen Noodles for lunch (I always made them in a pot before that day-when she showed me she made them in the microwave. Now I make them like that all the time). She was REALLY the sweetest thing and maybe....a little misunderstood my some people. After her and our friend broke up we didn´t really talk as much, but we did when we saw each other.
|Me and Brandi!|
Well she passed away. The details aren´t important. What is important is that little girl (she was pint-sized :)) made a lasting impression on my heart and I KNOW many others.
I´m at the funeral home in La Grange. I´m standing in the back. The place is full of friends, family, teachers, co-workers, etc....all mourning the loss of this sweet young life that we had the pleasure of being part of. Brandi and her family didn´t regularly attend church, so a friend contacted a pastor that he knew. Let´s just say he really didn´t know her, he got kind of long-winded, and I think maybe lost focus on celebrating HER life.
Well....just like Beth Moore having this overwhelming RANDOM feeling... I had one. I´ve NEVER told anyone about this EVER. I thought people would think I´d gone "off my rocker." So I´m standing in the hallway...listening to the pastor, but not really...b/c by this point he had started rambling a little and repeating himself....and what thought comes to mind you ask?........
WE SHOULD ALL START DANCING!
SERIOUSLY!!!! I thought to myself....WHAT?! I even thought I´d completely LOST IT. I mean...I LOVE TO DANCE and all, but....REALLY?! How random and crazy of a sight would that have been? Randomness and Craziness were a couple of traits Brandi and I both share, and it was like I could hear her saying "Do it! That would be so cool-and even tugging at me a little bit!" I even looked around and thought: Who would actually DANCE with me? Who else would start dancing if we did? You know...you HAVE to get MORE people to join in. If only us 2 were dancing they´d surely take us to GET OUR HEADS CHECKED. A family friend - Josh was standing in the back pretty close to me. I thought I could "maybe" pull him out there. Then I thought...where´s Beka and Lindsey? Courtney would do it, but she´s way in the front. Then...I let the FEAR OF JUDGEMENT overwhelm me. Just as I could hear Brandi coaxing me to do it, I could also hear her when I made the mental decision that I WAS NOT going to pull anyone into the aisle to dance with me say: "It´s okay!" Brandi was a free spirit and surely DID NOT want everyone to sit there and CRY!! She also would NEVER make someone feel uncomfortable or ashamed. She would have much rather had us dancing and laughing though! Actually....I KNOW Brandi would have danced with me, if the entire purpose was to lift people´s spirits and celebrate a life that really...wasn´t getting the justice that it deserved. She may have not been your everyday "traditional" girl, but she sure was somethin´!
|You think he would´ve danced with me?|
|Lin, Brandi, and Beka :)|
|Brandi and Courtney|
I´m sure the people closest to her would have gotten it, understood it all, and probably would´ve had a STRONG SPIRITUAL experience - IF I would have had the nerves to BUCK UP!! I didn´t that day, but that thought is STILL with me and probably always will be. I do have the NERVES today though to BUCK UP and share this story with you.
The whole point of this story and Beth Moore´s, is that: WE ARE HERE TO HELP EACH OTHER. Not to look at people and feel sorry for them or judge them. We NEED each other, friends, family, strangers, people we don´t "consider" friends. We are all HELPING each other to discover ourselves and our journey. We should all LISTEN to those strong feelings! Even when I was typing this...the thought came into mind...not to share. I´m pushing it away! Everyone´s life is different. Different situations make different impressions on all of us, different struggles, different successes. It is not our job OR BUSINESS to understand why some people are the way they are. It is our job to ACCEPT them...even when they don´t accept you. I know it can be hard sometimes, but - That is all.
BUCK UP BABY!! Push yourselves outside of that comfort zone!! We can´t grow and learn if we never push our limits, do something a little "crazy." Everyone have a VERY BLESSED WEEKEND!! Thanks for reading!!
BTW-ALL YOU READERS SERVE AS MY WITNESS. I would like a proper funeral service and burial, but I WANT YOU ALL TO THROW ONE HECK OF A PARTY AFTERWARDS!! I mean a REAL shin-dig! Have an auction to benefit something or someone and then DANCE UNTIL ALL YOUR TEARS TURN TO LAUGHTER!!